Must Be Rough

Have you ever heard this sentiment? Have you ever said this sentiment?

As we grow up, we are influenced by the people around us. Our families. Our friends families. Our communities. We typically grow up hearing a lot of different sentiments. We don’t challenge them when we are young. They are just things we say. We hit our 20’s and 30’s and sometimes we might think about those things we hear. Or the things we have in our head as absolute truths. Until someone might challenge us by inquiring about why we said that thing or why we believe that.

Becoming a business owner in 2017 and spending 6 years in the trenches with a lot of other small business owners, there is one sentiment that gets used that tops the cringeworthy chart.

Must be rough.

I grew up with this notion that business owners were rich. They lived in nice houses. Drove nice cars. One business owner in town had an in-ground pool. Another had a brand-new blue mustang convertible (which they still have to this day). Some of them built new houses.

Fast forward 23 years and now I know what it’s like. To be looked at the other way. To have those words uttered at me. Must be rough.

Those words hold a lot of meaning. On one side they hold envy and a yearning for the other side of the fence or what seems like a green pasture. And the other side holds more personal truths.

The constant hustle and bustle of ownership. Making ends meet. We might live in an apartment or a new house. We might drive a vehicle with our logos and website plastered on them to generate more business or for the tax write off. We talk about our businesses a lot, especially in the beginning. We are up late trying to figure out how to file 1099’s in January. We are hiring and firing bookkeepers, accountants, employees, assistants, marketing, all kinds of positions constantly. We are working really weird hours to ensure everything is ready for the next day or week. We might take vacations here and there but there is no rest for the mind of an entrepreneur. We still check our work email. We still take calls and texts. We worry if everything is OK back home. We start getting distracted enough on vacation then it’s over and we are back at it.

People who don’t own a business never know the back end. They don’t know what your debt sheet looks like. They don’t know how many sleepless nights there are. They don’t know how many vacations you take and are still working from afar. They don’t know how many nights you don’t goto bed next to your spouse. They don’t know. They haven’t put in the effort to see what it takes.

They do know envy though. They might make a flippant remark about how it must be rough. They don’t know if you’re on the brink of ruin. They don’t know if the pressure has gotten to you and you’re just about to list your business for sale.

Words matter so much. Every year I experience on earth, this lesson proves true time and time again. The words we use every day influence our reality and influences the people around us. Instead of being hard on everyone around us, we could be a little kinder. Those risk takers in our lives and towns across the U.S. are making our communities better. They build businesses to make their lives and everyone around their lives better. They build for a better tomorrow and because they love the chase.

Instead of saying must be rough, start saying things like, wow look what they built. Or look how far they have come. Or that person has been working hard for years. Positive words have better outcomes.